pinktalk

Puffy-eyed and semi-crazy, from both lack of sleep and crying with sadness and anger here. And you?

Here's what I have to say to you Bush voters in the Red States: let's face it, I live in Massachusetts, I'm fairly affluent and I'm white. It's you who will pay the short-term price for his victory. Your sons and daughters will die in Iraq and whatever other insane wars of choice Bush chooses to prosecute; Mr. Pink and I will have more than enough money in our lifetime to ensure that our kids, if we have them, don't have to join the military as a last resort in the Republican-destroyed economy. It's your daughters who won't be able to get an abortion; my state (and any I'd consider moving to in my lifetime are solidly Blue) will preserve as much as possible of our reproductive rights, and besides, I can pay for an under-the-table abortion if need be. Your kids will grow up being the laughingstocks of the western world for thinking creationism is science; I can send my kids to private school, out of the reach of insane fundamentalism.

I guess the only thing that I should be really concerned about, from a self-interest standpoint, Red States, is that Bush's continued incompetence in fighting Al Quaeda will cause another terrorist attack. And, obviously, since no one cares about places like Oklahoma City -- certainly not terrorists, and, judging by the way your chosen leaders represent you, not your own government either -- any attacks would come in Blue States, where all the consequential cities are located. So, you know, thanks for that, assholes.

Sigh.

Not that my own argument really convinces me. I mean, I left out all the environment stuff, the bankupting of social security, and whatever else. Who knows what the radical right will be able to do, especially now that their Congressional delegation has grown. So, uhm, does anyone know anything about how one seeks political asylum in Canada? Not joking here. Anyone?

All right kids, here it is: the day when we finally can vote this asshole out of office. I am going to the polls with Mr. Pink after work and then we will have our traditional post-voting dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches at Friendly's. Then, of course, comes the obsessive-compulsive watching of news for the next, oh, 12 to 769 hours as we wait for a result.

Since getting out the vote has been deemed key to producing a good result for Kerry, I spent last night making more calls to voters in Ohio. I made some calls last week to voters whose names I got from the Kerry website, but last night I was using a list given to me by my local Democratic party. I am not sure where they got the names, but oy vey, what a gruesome task that was! I had asked the coordinator to give me some eastern Ohio districts because I stupidly thought, "Oh, as a western Pennsylvanian they will inherently recognize that we were practically neighbors and be very nice to me!" Not sure how I got that idea, but, uhm, it was not correct. At all. Basically I got 90% of my callers who felt comfortable just bitching me out (my most common startled response, "OK, well, cool, uhm, have fun voting tomorrow!") and about 10% saying, "Oh my God, did you call my neighbor [insert name here] already? You poor thing, he is going to take your sweet little head off if you do!" So, hey, everyone, be on the lookout for the voters of Warren, OH, to go very, very red tonight on the county-by-county maps on CNN tonight. Either that or they were just messing with me big time and the lady who called both John Kerry and me a "communist" has a really sophisticated sense of humor. (I almost responded, "You know, if he were an actual communist, I would like him a lot better!")

Anyway: last night on the talk shows I was shocked -- shocked! -- to hear Willie Brown and Pat "What Holocaust?" Buchannan agree on something. (Although, you know, Buchannan was not singing that tune on McLaughlin this past weekend, so whatthefuckever.) Also mentioned in the aforelinked Wonkette talk-show roundup post (which is excellently funny, by the way): Harry Shearer. It occured to me, while watching him with my boyfriend last night, I don't know that I have ever mentioned how much I loooove Le Show, his radio show. That is all on that.

Now, on to the fraud issue: in the Pinktalk homeland of Pittsburgh dirty tricks abound; in neighboring Ohio more of the same, plus an added bonus of voter intimidation sanctioned by the courts; and so on and so forth. So, you know, uh, fight the power and stuff.

OK, I am too nervous and excited to post any more. I will be back later with a post-voting report from the Berkshires early this evening. All you kids, holla (in the comment section) when you've cast your ballot, please! I am striving for 100% turnout of eligible voters in Pinktalkland!

Oh this is great...email misrouted to georgewbush.org unleashed! (Via Wonkette.)

Another great Wonkette link: Wolfpacks for Truth. Ha! You know, I think those commercials were so not well done, and not just because I am a commie pinko liberal. I mean, I just don't think those wolves in the commercials look threatening! They should have gotten night vision footage or, you know, maybe the wolves eating a deer -- and the dead deer could represent America! I don't know, the commercial just reads to me like a bunch of dogs hanging out. But then again, I am not one of the borderline retarded class of "undecided voters" (read: attention-seeking, needy freaks incapable of distinguishing between a guy who seems like fun versus a guy who seems okay to trust with the power to launch a nuclear weapon), so the commercial's not for me anyway.

Also! Tonight you should tape "The Gilmore Girls" and watch "Frontline," which is on Rumsfeld. (Just a guess, but it may demonstrate him to be less than completent...)

OK!

P.S. -- Can you believe that "The O.C." season 1 dvds are out today? It's sort of been the thing keeping me from punching strangers in the mouth lately.

Rumors rumors! The gossip surrounding possible Kerry cabinet appointments, if he wins the presidency...interesting!

Yo bitch, are you calling God a liar? In yet another scandalous story, sure to rile up the religious conservative base of President Bush, God has told me, in an exclusive to Pinktalk, that both of these guys are total assholes and He hasn't talked to either of them since the mid-sixties. God then rolled His eyes and said, "It's stuff like this that made me get caller ID...between the telemarketers and the retarded 'religious' right, it's like hell on earth. And I know hell on earth, honey, believe you me!"

In other news: oh my gracious, just finished the most heinously dull scarf for Mr. Pink last night -- this is what you get when you let the boy pick out the stitch pattern! He, not being convinced by my many pretty color photographs of cables and bobbles and all that, decided that what he really wanted was a seed stitch and length enough to wrap twice loosely around his neck and still hang down to his waist. (Did I mention he's over 6' tall? And long-waisted?) Oh well, the damned thing is done and Mr. Pink is happy, so I guess it's all worth it.

Is it really true that no one is running these fucking brilliant Errol Morris anti-Bush ads? What kind of retarded strategy would that be, I wonder. I mean, I saw a few of them, I read the New Yorker article on them, I am hella psyched to have people see these ads. Yet...this Wonkette post seems to imply that they're sitting on a shelf somewhere. I understood, from the New Yorker piece, that MoveOn had planned to run them. Anyone?

Well, if we can't count on semi-legal liberal money factories to do our work for us, perhaps we lefties should get off our asses and do it ourselves...my friend Kelly, who is so rad, has been a busy bee making calls to potential Kerry-Edwards volunteers and said it is both fun, easy and uplifting. Why don't you join me this evening in making a few calls of your own? You know you have all those cell phone minutes you're not even using! Really, I have it on good authority that this is hyper-painless and low-commitment in terms of GOTV (ahem, that would be Get Out The Vote)stuff. So do it, bitch, it's fifteen minutes of your life -- which is nothing compared to four more years of your life under an anti-choice president who is going to nominate possibly 4 Supreme Court justices who starts wars and kills American soldiers for reasons we still haven't had a straight answer on.

I am making my calls tonight while Mr. Pink's at a work meeting. When are you doing it? [Insert foot-tapping, arms-crossed, stern look here.]

Uhm, I am pretty sure that Kerry whupped Bush's ass.

Here. There are about a jillion more op-ed pieces that come out saying Kerry basically won. All very good. I have to say, I am greatly relieved with Kerry's performance, but sometimes I have to stop and ask myself why. I mean, he's been rad to me over the five years I've lived in Massachusetts -- never disappointed me as a representative of my interests, and always seemed like he was earning his paycheck. So I guess it's just my natual pessimism that makes me assume that something bad will happen.

But yay!

I have more, but I tell you what, I am wicked swamped...oh my SHIT, this is so the worst post of all time. Sorry.

ETA, real quick, and completely unrelated to the above content, but because I suck and don't want to make a new post: Mr. Pink will freak out when I tell him that we can get our cat fur spun into yarn!

Ever alert, Wonkette has written her own Bush stump speech -- and shows you where you can do it too! Hott!

This is a great "think" piece -- what if America were Iraq? That puts it into perspective, really, doesn't it?

And did y'all read this article on GOP efforts to suppress the vote? Fucking fuck, that is some scary shit.

There has to be some very, very disturbing psychological reason for Bush's, errr, unusual phrasing when discussing the plight of the nation's OB/GYNs the other day, don't you think? Witness:

Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.

Listen, honey, I have been to the gyno, and let me tell you, it sure as shit ain't "love" that they're practicing down there...unless one associates "love" with an icy speculum and a medical student observing the big event. Which, I don't know, maybe Bush does -- and who am I to judge?

(Thank you to my boyfriend, Keith Olbermann, for bringing this to my attention by way of yesterday's "Countdown." And ohmigod, he wrote about it on his weblog [which seems to just be a partial script of the evening's show, with some edits, I think] too, hott!)