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September 27, 2005



i would like to note for the record that the new england patriots' winning ways do happen to coincide with your inhabitance of that part of the united states, and collectively, we don't believe this to be a mere "fluke".

it is therefore my solemn duty to inform you that for the good of your home city (and your own personal mental health), you must vacate that god forsaken land forthwith and return at once to the rolling hills of western pennsylvania.

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