A few things I need to cover since I was swamped at work today.
Boys. Gentlemen, I hope you won't be offended when I tell you to grow the fuck up and get over yourself and, most of all, stop being dumb to my friends. I mean, you are lucky to be getting laid regular in the first place, but please, you have the added bonus of getting action from my hyper-hott ladyfriends who are brainy, ass-kicking, funny and full-on sexy. So, honestly, just grow up or think about suicide because you are seriously boring me.
Jane magazine. Let's face it, Jane (and Jane [Pratt] for that matter). You can never be what I want you to be. It was obvious from your very first issue, yet, me being a sentimental girl, I kept sending you the subscription money, maybe in the hopes that Margie and Christina would come back and all of a sudden you would totally be Sassy again, complete with awesomely withering Tiffani-Amber Thiessen interview. But you won't ever be that way again. Actually? You suck. And the fact that you give Pamela Anderson a column (a monthly column!) is like putting thumbtacks in my nipples, that is how much you hurt me. Well, you can't hurt me anymore, you sad shell of your former self! I shall not renew, I tell you! And nothing can convince me otherwise! Not even the reemergence of "Cute Band Alert"!
Election Day. Hey, it's Election Day tomorrow. I hope you will vote, because a lot of the nitty-gritty rules about how you live your day to day life comes down to the people elected at these "boring" elections, where there is no sexy presidential race to lure you to the polls. Don't let some crazy fringe freak-o get elected the local school board just by not showing up when you know all his pals at the Klan are going to be there with hoods on. This shit is important.
Ionizing hairdryer. So the hairdryer I had to haul ass through the dirty, white-trash-infested Wal-Mart for? It was one of those "ionizing" ones, and Dan and I have been unable to stop making jokes about that particular brand of pseudoscience. Yet, perhaps through some kind of placebo effect, I find my hair very manageable today after using it. (And, you know, for what it's worth, the internet is confounding me this evening, I can't even find any good links for this, and I really wanted one on the myth of the ionizing product. Is it possible it isn't a myth? Help!)
Film. If you didn't make it to the Flux event last weekend, my native people (err, that would be you Pittsburghers), perhaps you would dig the Three Rivers Film Festival, which is starting this coming weekend. I mean, God, you live in a really quirkily cool little city, why not make the most of it, people? As soon as my totally rad horoscope comes true, I will totally go with y'all to this stuff, but until then you must forge ahead, hipsters!
Misc. Hey, while I am typing this, my one cat is dreaming and is twitching in his sleep. Cute!