And. Being as sweet as I am (ahem), I get a lot of insect bites. Today I discovered one, obtained last evening while beer-drinking and chain-smoking while chatting with Ms. Erin on my back porch. It is in the worst of all places possible -- the Not-Ass. That is to say, near the ass, but really at the very top of my thigh, directly across the ass-border. This is the worst area to have a bug bite, because even though any reasonable person would agree that this is most certainly not ass terrotory, scratching it in public is just not okay. And today, all the crazy itchiness was exacerbated by my unwise choice of undergarments. You see, today was the day I wore my "To His Coy Mistress" underthings -- they are lacy and sexy in a way that seems sort of antiquated, which ordinarily I find rather charming. And being cut the way that they are, and with the whole lace issue, not to mention the posture demanded to wear very high heels all day long, the lace kept triggering the itchiness. I was tortured by the desire to vigrously scratch my Not-Ass all day long. Jesus, what a trial!