Actual conversation had in a bar last evening while having a cigarette outside by myself:
Guy: Hi, do you need a light?
Sarah: No, I smoke; ergo I carry a lighter. Thanks though.
Guy: Yeah. So, do you live around here?
Sarah: No, I live in Bergen County.
Guy: I live here.
[long pause, as Guy is clearly looking at my breasts]
Guy: You have a really great smile.
Sarah: Do you live with your parents?
Guy: Uhm. Yes.
Sarah: In the basement or in your childhood bedroom?
Guy: In my childhood bedroom.
Sarah: And how old are you?
Sarah: And you have a job?
Guy: Yeah, I work in the city.
Sarah: Interesting. How is all that working out for you?
Guy: I have a boat.
To my single ladyfriends, I feel for ya. Clearly the selection is not what I imagine it is as an old married lady. I am leaving out the part where he tried to make me drink from his glass. When I finished my cigarette and went to go inside, I very effectively brushed him off for good though by saying, "You know, I am really, really into politics." Unsexy!